For many years I didn't know "poly" was a thing... I used to question whether or not I could ever "settle down" because I couldn't see myself only ever loving or wanting to be intimate with just one person.

Here is a conversation my mind has had over and over again:

Does that make me a slut that I would want more than one partner?

Could I be in a heterosexual relationship and be allowed to occasionally be with another female, or be in a homosexual relationship and still occasionally be with a male? Would I ever find a partner that would allow that, or would I have to "cheat" to achieve that?

What if I found another bi-female to date... maybe they would occasionally want a male partner as well and we could be with one together, or could I be with a male that would allow me to bring a female home for a threesome (what guy doesn't want two women at once, haha!)

Then I would think in any scenario either I am on my own (if another female doesn't like males) or in a threesome (where the female does like males too)... but they'd have to like my male... what are the odds of that... well, the odds aren't too bad, people have Ménage à trois all the time, right?

For me the male part of my equation was easy... There is only one male on the planet that I want to be with and have any desire to commit myself to and be with forever...

Before we started dating, when we were just talking about it, and I asked him "if we were to be together, could I still have a girlfriend(s)?" We have been friends with no secrets between us since I was 19 so he knew that I loved men (him) and women. His answer was "of course, if you share".

The topic came up a lot as we lived in two different states in the beginning and spent a lot of time on the phone... We both decided that we would be okay with a mutual girlfriend, or if just a sexual partner, then an ongoing one because we are getting older and the idea of revolving door doesn't sound good (or safe).

Then... I stumbled onto "Poly"... Holy Moly... there is actually a term for something that I wanted but didn't know how to define!

Now we both know what we want, but where do we even begin???
Posted by unicornhntr87401 on 05/18/2015 02:23 PM


 

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